DHS: Use Scissors To Defend Yourself From A Mass Shooter

Homeland Security posted a video on their website about a month after the Sandy Hook shooting that gave instructions as to how to deal with a mass shooter at work. It was meant to coincide with Obama’s sweeping executive actions on “reducing gun violence.”

The video, called “Options for Consideration,” portrays helpless office workers scurrying around, hiding under desks or behind corners and cowering before the cops who save them.

They’re advised by the narrator to ignore injured or dead co-workers and to just focus on getting out safely. But if someone is in a situation where he can’t leave his office for fear of being seen by the shooter, then he should grab whatever he can to defend himself such as a pair of scissors and crouch under his desk and wait quietly. A Homeland Security official clarified that one should only use that pair of scissors as a “last, worst-case scenario.”

Not surprisingly, there was not one word about these office workers owning or using a gun. That would sort of defeat the purpose of Homeland Security. They’re supposed to keep us poor, defenseless victims safe, not help us keep ourselves safe. So the premise of the instructional video is that no one owns guns, and we all need Homeland Security to keep us safe.

I would venture to guess that confronting a mass shooter with a gun would be more effective than a pair of scissors, and a semi-automatic rifle would be better than a handgun. But, no. They recommend using a pair of scissors. You might as well use a sharpened pencil. That’ll really show him.

Once again, the irony here is that by creating an environment of defenseless office workers, gun violence would most likely be increased, not reduced by a mass shooter, even though he would be the only one to have a gun or guns. If several office workers were packing, they could take out the shooter and prevent him from shooting anyone else. That would truly be reducing gun violence.

This DHS propaganda video reminds me of the “Duck and Cover” videos geared toward school-aged kids during the Cold War. In these instructional videos, kids were advised in the event of an unexpected nuclear blast to immediately get on the floor under something like a desk or table and assume a prone-like position, covering any exposed areas of their body with their clothing and to cover the backs of their heads with their hands if necessary. As if that would protect kids from a nuclear explosion. As if a pair of scissors would protect an office worker from a deranged mass shooter.



234 thoughts on “DHS: Use Scissors To Defend Yourself From A Mass Shooter

  1. Why can't someone like Rand Paul, put fourth legislation that would make DHS have to use Scissors, and give back all those firearms and Ammo they are Hoarding?

  2. Someone tell the Department of Homeland Stupidity that a person with a gun doesn't have to get close enough to you to let you stab him. He can kill you from farther away than arms length. Do these retards HAVE to fail an intelligence test to get a job with The Big Dyke's agency?

  3. I bet Napolitano's body guards carry scissors to guard her life, I mean she would not tell us to do one thing, and then do something different....would she?

    • Victor Magilke says:

      She's so full of crap I'm sure her body guards also carry toilet paper with them for their protection.

  4. These are our great and wonderful leaders, chosen for their brains. Snicker,Snicker. They have to put out something to justify all that money they are collecting. It really makes me trust them. Snicker, Snicker.

  5. I wonder what would happen if we all brought our chain saws to the office ?

  6. This is in violation of the State of California's prohibition against stabbing tools.

  7. Adakin Valorem says:

    If you are allowed to bring your firearm and your CWP permit, you can manage the attack all by yourself.
    == == ==
    But if you are stuck in a "gun free" zone, such as many gov't offices, schools, etc., almost no one would object to your having a can of WASP & HORNET spray on your desk or in a handy nearby desk drawer.

    Many of these potent wasp sprays have an effective range of 20'+ and if you can direct the spray/stream to the Attacking Terrorist's eyes, he will drop like a bag of wet cement while filling the room with blood curdling screams of pain. Just keep the spray directed to his face and then try to disarm the scumbag once he's down.

    Once you have his weapon, SHOOT the SOB with his own weapon until the magazine runs dry or the screaming stops, which ever comes first... you should only stop shooting if the mag holds more than 10 shots (7 in NY). After all, you don't want to be in violation of the new Obama/Feinstein high capacity mag laws that are being proposed right now.

    After you've shot the perp, toss the now empty weapon well out of reach of the attacker, and go back and hide under your desk while clutching a pair of scissors, just as DHA has instructed.

    THEN call 911 and tell them where they can find the now dead animal in your office or school.

    CAUTION: Do not retain the empty firearm as the first responders will likely think you are the attacker and shoot you.

  8. Don't use scissors! Grab a heavy office stapler and put it in a trash bag, and swing it like a club! Even better, use a folding chair, or squirt white-out at the shooter's face (to blind him.)
    BUT, I'll admit even scissors are a better idea than a gun. A criminal will just take your gun away and stick it in your pooper, as any good liberal citizen can tell you.