Armed Woman To Burglar: "Put Your Face in the Dirt!"

This is one of those stories that make me whoop like a high-school varsity tool, just as any story would that involves a woman, empowered by a gun, commanding a burglar to put his face in the dirt or else lose his face entirely.

Such is the type of woman who feminists in decades gone by would draft as the poster child of their movement of independence and strength and equal protection under the law. Since feminism has been mutated into only a means to a Marxist society, however, and private gun ownership hinders that mutation, such a woman is no longer eligible to be the National Organization for Women’s Role Model of the Year (if such an annually bestowed title exists; I’m not sure because I don’t care about NOW).

Betty Collins had received an early-morning phone call from her boyfriend on his way to work, warning her to be wary of a suspicious-looking shirtless man in the neighborhood. Shortly before 5 a.m., a shirtless man began kicking Collins’ front door. She rushed downstairs towards the action instead of staying upstairs and cowering under the sheets. What gave her this courage?

A freakin’ gun, man, that’s what! Ba-BAM!

So she rushes to the front door and shouts through it as loud as she can, “Get off my porch! I have a gun! I will shoot you!”

Know what the knucklehead did then? Well, apparently he thought she was bluffing and that he had nothing to fear, because he stayed right there at the front door.

She repeated her warning one final time. When he still wouldn’t leave, Collins threw open the door and, as she so beautifully put it, “there he was, standing five inches from the barrel of a loaded .357.”

If you’re a liberal, this is where your mind explodes. If you’re a conservative, you understand it completely and you know exactly what comes next: Betty can now exert her power over the man who tried to take away her sanctuary. So that’s exactly what she (awesomely) did.

Collins told the young man, 31-year-old Kyle Caldwell, to get on the ground. So he got on his knees. (And here I like to imagine he temporarily lost bladder control and piddled a bit.)

“No,” she said, “put your face in the dirt, and you’re gonna stay there!” Because the man had more understanding than most liberals that guns give the wielder the upper hand, he did exactly as she commanded him.

Betty Collins is alive because, plain and simple, the punk was afraid of the gun.

Liberals: Weeping into their chai tea lattes that the would-be burglar didn’t grab the gun from her and shoot her, which surely would have been beneficial to their argument that women, when overwhelmed by fear, are too incompetent to handle guns.

Gun-rights advocates: Happy that their persistent activism kept this woman alive.








Comments

comments

Posted in Crime, Email Featured, Gun Control, Liberalism, Second Amendment Tagged with: , ,
  • catman

    My kinda woman!!! Gad, I love a woman who knows how to use a gun. My wife sure as hell does and she shoots low, (if you get my drift)

  • Douglas W. Rodrigues

    The average so-called “Liberal” wouldn’t understand anyone having a gun, let alone using it to protect yourself.

  • BeeKaaay

    Leftwingwackos are bloodthirsty and believe nobody has the right to defend themselves. They like seeing innocent people die, because it advances their agenda.

  • http://twitter.com/gmhunt4 Joseph Gary Hunt

    I am surprised the police did not arrest her for causing him to pee in his pants.

  • becky

    A humor full article and lots of fun to read. Thanks!

  • http://www.facebook.com/kenneth.bowman.773 Kenneth Bowman

    GREAT a real woman! So many what to be men today.

  • El Camino

    When seconds count…the cops are minutes away. Love women that know how to use a gun & tools.

  • Kiki Myth

    I live in California and took a ‘gun safety class’ from a pair of
    homicide detectives, and they told the class, no matter what you do,
    never EVER touch the body. The forensics people will be able to tell in a
    heartbeat if the body has been dragged anywhere. In the state of
    California, if you find someone in your house, uninvited, that you don’t
    know, you have a reasonable fear for your life. If someone is crawling
    through a window, and you blow them back out, leave ‘em where they lay,
    and remember the following phrase: “I am in fear for my life. I want a
    lawyer.’ The two detectives made us repeat that line, and told us not to
    say anything else about anything to the police until you’ve talked to counsel.
    We had a shooting incident up in Crest, years ago now, where the
    thirteen year old daughter rushed into her parents room in the middle of
    the night and said there was some guy crawling through her bedroom
    window. Dad jumped up, grabbed his Mini-14 with a thirty-round magazine,
    and didn’t stop shooting until the guy fell out the window backwards.
    The press had a hissy-fit. They screamed at the local sheriff, ‘why
    wasn’t this murderous father arrested?’ ‘He didn’t break the law,’ the
    cop responded. The press were ready to gather up pitchforks and torches
    and march on Crest, when the CSI people determined from what was left of
    the guy at the window that he had been a convicted child molester that
    had only been released from prison two weeks before.

    • fsa0033

      Hopefully the dad had another one waiting to replace the used one just in case he had a buddy waiting around the corner. Always have more than one.

  • Mikey

    When homies finally get it through their thick cement skulls that white people will shoot you if you mess with them,they will only prey on each other.If you want to know how I know the perp was black and the victim white,it didn’t say,so this is the situation by default.She should have shot it between the eyes.

    • Your Conscience

      If you take a closer look at the stats, the homies are doing most of the killing. And most of the time it is another homie they are shooting. Take guns away from the law abiding citizens and that will change.

  • keepersleeper

    My husband and I can’t WAIT to purchase our guns! All SANE people should own a gun, learn how to care for and use it properly!

  • keepersleeper

    Add this woman to a long list of females who have done the RIGHT thing: PROTECT THEIR LIVES and possibly the lives of others!! Great Story!

  • bull57

    Weaker sex my arse. Come to my home and I will prove just how weaker they are!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Marie-Devine/1391230428 Marie Devine

    God gave a revelation in 1833 that He gave us the US Constitution (D&C 98 and 101:77-80). That means He gave us gun rights; we are America’s unpaid army and police force preventing more attacks because we are an armed people.

    If we allow our government to change the constitution to take away our gun rights, they are then authorized to change it to allow longer terms in office, to allow naturalized citizens to become president meaning foreigners can rule over us and changing search and seizure laws etc. It is important our constitution is not changed and our rights be secure.

  • jreg9304

    i love it!!!!!

  • Conservativesniper

    Good thing there is not Castle Law in her state or she could’ve just shot him dead and then called the cops. I remember my home was burglarized and the cop who came to investigate asked if I saw the burglar. I told the cop if I’d caught the little b*stard he’d be investigating a homicide and not a burglary. The officer told me if the perp landed outside the house to drag him back inside. I’ve never forgotten that, even though we now have Castle Law and the perp just has to be on your property, not necessarily in the domicile. I’m a fan of draconian law to rid the gene pool of the defective.

  • SpudPicker

    The good guys (and gals) can win if the libtards don’t stack the deck in their favor!
    Down with those who want to take our guns away! And, down with ‘gun-free-zones!’