Are You “Ready for Hillary”?

Hillary Clinton’s 2016 campaign, “Ready for Hillary,” is already starting up, and it is ugly. Really ugly. It’s vaguely similar to Obama’s campaign, but with some crucial differences. Well, one main difference: it sucks.

One of the first things I noticed is that they’re trying to get the American people and the presidential wanna-be on a first-name basis. Remember “Barack the Vote.” “Ready for Hillary” is like that, but it will probably be even more exclusive. Clinton knows she will have to leverage the recognizability of her husband’s name without being tarnished by its scandal or eclipsed by its cult of personality (she didn’t get much personality, after all). So she will probably use her last name sparingly. This campain will be all about Hillary. Which is curious. There are in fact other national leaders who go by their first names. They’re called monarchs. Queen Hillary I? Scary.

They’re also rolling out a line of endorsed merchandise. This is really the worst part of her campaign. Oh my. Obama had that red and blue posterized look that ellicited vintage patriotism—both progressively hip and safely traditional at the same time. Say what you will, Obama’s campaign was brilliant (it had to be). Clinton’s campaign design? Not so much.

ready for hillary bag

It looks like they have chosen to over-expose and posterize a picture of her half smiling (in pitch black, of course); then they photoshopped her hair, neck, and the sides of her face out; then they put that disembodied smirk against a light grey background over the word “READY” in either blood red or blood pink. It’s actually creepy, as the closeness of black and grey make it seem like her face is pressing out from the background like a poltergeist bent on stealing the souls of your children. It’s Cheshire Cat (complete with actual madness) meets Stepford Wives meets awesomely incompetent graphic design. Whether intentionally or not, her “face” actually achieves maximum uncanniness in the uncanny valley between registering as a human and registering as a cyborg. It may actually be that the tin-foilers were right: After looking at this line of murky merc,  it’s hard for me to deny that Hillary Clinton might be a Reptilian Shape-Shifter. It’s really bad. Here’s what one writer said about the Hillary hand-bag:

Is it a haunted reusable bag from Whole Foods that accidentally swallowed a demon spirit in the Tanzanian coffee aisle? Don’t try to look at this unholy love child of a Madonna album cover and a yarn bag from hell. Once you do, its eyes will follow you everywhere you go. And there is no escape.

Then there’s that one word: “Ready.” Is that a warning (e.g., “Get Ready for the Zombie Apocalypse”)? Or is it supposed to be descriptive? At least in Obama’s case, his abstracted one-word slogan was offering something to the people. “Need hope? We’ll give it to you! Want change? Here ya go, pal!” Hillary’s slogan is actually expecting something from the voters. “Readiness? Yes, you’ll need to have that.” Or perhaps, she is saying that she is ready? Ready for what? That strikes me as ominous: “Remember Obama? He was just a fore-runner preparing things until I was ready to fulfill my diabolical mission. He was playing Evil John the Baptist to my true Anti-Christ Messiah.”

What’s hilarious is that the slogan works both for people that love her and for people that hate her. On one hand, it means:

“We’ve already elected a black man. Twice. So that’s checked off the list, and we’re ready now to elect a woman. The country is ready now for the next step. I’m ready to continue Obama’s agenda.”

For opponents, it runs more like this:

“Get ready for a complete collapse of the country. Stockpile guns, ammo, gold, gasoline, water, and canned food. If Hillary’s elected, you better be ready. Or you’re toast. Because it’s all going down.”

One way or the other, “Ready for Hillary” already feels like it is faltering. If we cannot beat her in 2016, I don’t know if there’s anyone we could beat. At that point, I would recommend we just quit the game. This is a golden opportunity for us to get the candidate we need. We’ve blown these opportunities in the past by going with middle-of-the-road humdrumming establishment clowns. We can’t make that mistake in 2016. Are you ready? [Groan]


  • wapiti,co

    She should be in jail for her incompetance with bengazi. I hope noone forgets her blattant lies about the video. It should be brought up at every debate and interview. Piss off hillary and don't come back , america does not want you even in her borders-worthless lier-just like your hubby- worthless to our country

  • mamasview

    Ready for Hillary? NO WAY!!!! Talk about jumping out of the frying pan into the fire! Her agenda is just as radical as what we have now!

    Does anyone really want to take the chance that she would abandon more of our citizens or military to terrorists? Possibly here at home! They have been allowing more and more into the country, into the actual Government! It really scares me, at times, to think of what they might really be planning behind the scenes for us.

  • The happy warrior

    What wrong with Hillary? I can hear her screaming lectures now. God help us. Even then I still think Obama is worse.

  • 1coachretired1

    Every time from now to 2016-that you see the name Hillary,Bill or Chelsea in the news-it will be an attempt to lay the ground work of peace and love
    and good things and wonderful actions and world wide accomplishments and all sorts of reasons why America needs to finally put a woman into the presidency (small "p" on purpose)!

    Just keep your eyes and ears open to the flow of the media manipulations instilling Hillary and all of her amazing attributes and awesome qualities for becoming Obama's replacement. If you really look closely at the fine print and bottom line of each article
    and effort-the TRUTH will jump out at you!

    Just remember : Vince Foster,Connie Hamzy,Paula Jones,Gennifer Flowers, The Rose Law firm,James Mc Dougal,Ron Brown,Monica Lewinsky,and now Benghazi and Huma!

  • gnafuasusual

    Me, This American, In Order to take back our USA, DOES NOT SUPPORT MORE CRAPOLA FROM THIS CURRENT GOVERNMENT NOR FROM ANY CLINTON WHO PRETENDS TO BE AN AMERICAN. That is my support for this pompous, lying female dog who pretends to be a future leader of the USA. Hillary Clinton, NO! She had her chance and blew it big time by giving into threats of the elected. Plus, Americans would get a First Man who brought disgrace to the Oval Office because he couldn't keep his zipper up.