A Convenient Crock: Oklahoma Tornadoes Caused By Global Warming AND Cooling

Global warming has kicked tornado season off to a bloody start. At least twenty-four confirmed deaths and hundreds of injuries are the result of a tornado more than a mile wide that ripped through an area outside Oklahoma City, OK. But don’t be fooled into thinking that tornado season typically does bring with it death and destruction. You may be thinking, “It’s a giant funnel of wind and debris; of course it’s going to kill people, and of course some tornadoes are going to be bigger than others.” Wrong, you moron. Global warming. Ask a Democrat.

Take Senator Sheldon Whitehouse of Rhode Island, for example, who thought this to be the most advantageous time to whip up and bring to the Senate floor a nice little school project of his in the form of a piece of cardboard his parents printed for him at Kinko’s. The cardboard bears the image of Earth from space, accompanied by the evangelizing words of Gaianism, “TIME TO WAKE UP.”

Whitehouse, a liberal, raised the issue under the pretext of—you ready?—fiscal conservatism. “When cyclones tear up Oklahoma and hurricanes swamp Alabama and wildfires scorch Texas, you come to us, the rest of the country, for billions of dollars to recover. And the damage that your polluters and deniers are doing doesn’t just hit Oklahoma and Alabama and Texas. It hits Rhode Island with floods and storms.”

He goes on to say, “I don’t want…an America suffering from grave economic and environmental and diplomatic damage because we failed, because we didn’t wake up and do our duty to our people, and because we didn’t lead the world. I do not want that future. But that’s where we’re headed. So I will keep reaching out and calling out, ever hopeful that you will wake up before it is too late.”

Good thing he brought his Kinko’s printout with him. (Seriously, what was it for? There wasn’t even a graph of forged data on it. What kind of effort is that? It was just a picture of Earth and a warning that he repeated in his stupid speech. Why did he waste the money to print that?)

Hey, I wonder if Whitehouse was the one behind my instant-oatmeal packet this morning having printed on it this trivia question: “What kind of gas is central in global warming?” (Answer on the back: Greenhouse.)

Wouldn’t it be really embarrassing to these Doomsday prophets of the left if one of their own teammates, back in 1975, published an article saying that, according to scientists, the surge in tornadoes back then was a direct result of global cooling? Why, yes, yes it would be embarrassing. That is, if liberals had any sense of shame.