Now that New York City mayoral candidate Bill de Blasio has become the Democratic nominee for that position, pounding Weiner limp at the ballot box (with Weiner erecting one final digit for the cameras as he stormed away in a huffy afterglow), the press knows who it is they are now supposed to praise and protect.
There are plenty of editorials telling New Yorkers to elect de Blasio over his Republican opponent, Joe Lhota, because of specific policies, and while those policies, to a conservative, are reasons not to elect de Blasio, at least it is the policies being defended rather than something insignificant and downright silly, such as, oh, I don’t know, hairdos.
Ah, drat, not quite. There’s this article at CNN.com, written by a black woman (you’ll see that that’s relevant information), which endorses de Blasio not for his policies, but because he has a Mulatto son (courtesy of his black wife). But wait, that’s not quite precise enough. It is not for de Blasio’s black son that he receives the endorsement of the article, but for de Blasio’s black son’s hairstyle specifically.
Author Michaela Angela Davis writes, “Dante de Blasio, the son of New York City mayoral candidate Bill de Blasio, is a typical nerdy, smart, shy 16-year-old Brooklyn boy. He has delighted New Yorkers, late-night satirists and America with his charm and awesome afro.”
For reference, here’s the, ahem, awesomeness. (Picture: Father, left, and the son whose hair qualifies him.)
The article continues: “Dante and his gravity-defying, nonconformist hairstyle helped signal to New Yorkers that his father, Bill de Blasio, understands equality, empathizes with the victims of systemic bigotry and is more than qualified to lead the most diverse metropolis in America.”
Attention, black Republican candidates of the future: If you want to be seen as understanding of the principle of equality, as empathetic with “the victims of systemic bigotry,” and to be declared “more than qualified” to be governor of a diverse major city, tell your son to grow an afro. Afros are what qualify you.
“To some black voters,” Davis continues, “Dante’s afro reflected that this boy and by association his father, respected the civil rights struggle, since the afro is considered an icon for black pride and progress. In other words—you can trust de Blasio to be sensitive to issues of race that affect New York City….”
And if you’re son is fat and wears a pince-nez, it is likely a reflection of your own Rooseveltian conservationism.