Edmonds School District Submits to Michelle Obama: No Birthday Food Celebrations

Michelle Obama and her entourage of Federal thugs have zero control on what kids buy and eat on their way home from school. She has zero control over how they eat at home. In fact, among lower income kids, it is virtually certain that many are growing obese on government food stamps. So her forces are actually fattening up these kids—for what end, I don’t care to guess.

So, in the midst of all the rows of cheap doughnuts and chips (filled with government subsidized wheat and corn, all of which enters the blood as sugar, Michelle Obama has carved out a tiny restriction zone that cannot possibly help anyone’s nutrition.

Thus, Victor Skinner writes in EAGnews.com:

The First Lady worked with federal bureaucrats to strictly limit what types of foods can be served in school cafeterias across the country in an effort to fight childhood obesity. The federal regulations on meat, vegetables, salt, and other aspects of the school lunch has been met with staunch indignation from students who have either trashed their mandatory fruit and vegetables or opted not to eat lunch at all.

Now, the Edmonds School District in Washington State and others are cracking down on birthday cupcakes and other sugary snacks students bring from home under a directive from the federal lunch police, according to news reports.

“Birthday parties in classrooms may be celebrated with non-food treats and favors for students. No food is allowed as part of a birthday celebration,” according to a new Edmonds School District policy tied to the federal lunch rules, according to The Herald.

Appropriate alternatives to food that may be shared on special occasions can be within the procedures,” the district’s website states.

Instead of tasty cupcakes, students can now celebrate their birthdays with gift pencils, origami frogs and extra recess time. Yay.

“The change in procedure was inspired by a new federal Wellness Policy, which requires superintendents to monitor nutritional standards for unregulated items such as food prepared by parent groups, vending-machine fare, student store offerings and classroom parties,” The Herald reports.

But what is especially insane is that the Federal rules only apply to food that is sold at the school. Nothing is said about food that is given from student to student. The Edmond School District decided that the Feds weren’t fascist enough; they added the birthday cake ban.

Nationally, about 7.3 percent of schools ban sugary treats for classroom birthday parties, while 6.4 percent do the same for holiday parties, according to a Journal of Nutrition Education and Behavior study cited by The Herald.

What a joyless war on society these totalitarian superintendents are waging. Anyone who reads the Bible knows that celebrations are supposed to be times of feasting. And that is true in many cultures, not only in the Bible. So why smash a way that humans have been marking anniversaries for years?

If you think a student is less likely to binge on Ding Dongs on his way home because you denied him a cupcake, you are seriously mistaken. This doesn’t do a thing for student health or student obesity. It just spoils fun.