My Favorite Kind of TSA Agent…

… is a non-existent one. But this sleeping one is pretty good too. I wonder, do TSA agents dream of electric sheeple? Speaking of sheeple, do you know what the Fourth Amendment says? Most people don’t. The few that know anything say it has to do with “unreasonable search” and “probable cause” and all that. But most everyone gets the probable cause bit wrong. It absolutely does not say that civil government officials can search or seize your property if they have probable cause. No, it says they cannot get a warrant to search or seize you or your property without an explanation of probable cause supported by an oath and a particular and limited designation of the place to be searched and the persons or things to be seized. That’s a big difference. Check it out:

The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no Warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized.

The TSA is a flagrant and absolutely preposterous affront to this amendment. They have and need no probable cause to search your bag and seize your… you know. And even if they had probable cause they have skipped the part about getting warrants because that’s too time-consuming and people are already waiting long enough to get to their planes, blah blah blah. It’s just so inconvenient to do the right thing sometimes, you know? And it’s not just the illegal search and seizure that bothers me. It’s that these searches and seizures are incredibly unreasonable. On my trip back from Denver to Atlanta a week or so ago (with my wife and four kids), they confiscated a juicebox from my diaper bag after swabbing it for explosives. Wow. That seems reasonable.

To really narrow down the potential threats to American safety, they’ve started mounting mirrors in front of their faces… wait, no that’s not it… I mean they’ve recently started a behavioral profiling program at Boston Logan to try to determine possible terrorists by facial expressions and attitudes. In other words, they will question you if you look grumpy. That’s pretty stupid. Everyone at the airport looks grumpy. Because of how annoying airport security is. Since they’ve implemented this brilliant program, only a fraction of the 725,000 travelers have been referred for further screening, and not a single one has been arrested for any wrong-doing. They’ve all just had their time wasted, their privacy violated, and their rights discarded.

There are few people standing up to this garbage. Most of us just want to be left alone, so we just go along to get along. But how far does this have to go before we say, “NO!” I hear occasionally of brave people with time on their hands that stand up for their Constitutional rights and tell airport security nothing about where they came from or where they’re going or refuse to be in the TSA’s latest “x-ray”ted photo shoot. You don’t technically have to tell them anything. But I usually do whatever they ask. Because I have nothing to hide, and because I have already capitulated to the fact that we live under a tyranny. What’s the point of pressing your rights? Have you ever refused to let a police officer search your car? It’s your constitutional right, you know. Yeah. Hope you like handcuffs and impound lots.

You’re guilty until proven dead.

How do you deal with this? Hit them where it hurts: their wallets. Government bureaucracies don’t care about another thing in the world. You can talk about the inhumanity and the Constitution this and that ’til you’re purple in the belly button… they really don’t care. We need to set up a National No-Fly Day. Get every business and every person sick of TSA to commit to absolutely no flying on that day. Tell the airlines that if they want our business, they need to use their lobbyists to force TSA out of airports… and out of existence for that matter. We have police officers already, and they are plenty intrusive enough. If we could actually get everyone in the US to commit to this, I think we might have a chance of sending an effective message all the way to Washington. Might be a pipe dream, but it would be pretty awesome.