New Narrative: Amnesty Equals More Jobs for Everybody!

Great news! For those who haven’t yet heard, there appears yet another added benefit to passing the Senate illegal immigrant amnesty act. The benefits just keep piling up.

You may be skeptical now, but after you conservative racists hear the news — even you will support the real Republicans that just want to get things done.

For them, not us, just saying no isn’t good policy. After all, if the Democrats propose some ridiculous legislation that the country has survived without for 200+ years — Republicans can’t just say no. That would be ridiculous. We must always propose an “alternative.”

Like when my 14-year-old son says, “Dad, can I borrow your car?” I can’t just say no. That would be insensitive and not good familial policy.

Anyway, back to the great news.

ABC news/Univision recently reported that if the amnesty bill is enacted, “it would add nearly 14,000 new jobs on average in each congressional district” in the nation.

Wow! I can honestly say I did not know that. Why didn’t Rubio, Ryan, Jeb Bush and Karl Rove just tell us that in the first place?

Let’s see: that’s 14,000 jobs x 435 congressional districts. That equals 1.7 gazillion new jobs! Actually, it is 6,090,000 jobs. That’s still pretty awesome. Where do I sign? Better yet, I’ll just call my Sen. Kelly Ayotte (Judd Gregg in a dress) and let her know — full speed ahead!

The ABC news report continued: “no district would see fewer than 7000 jobs created by 2023.” This is impressive — if you believe it.

Let’s say we do trust their figures. By the way, the figures were compiled by the “American Action Network.” Surprise — a Karl Rove Consortium.

So let’s run the numbers shall we?

The numbers are 14,000 (maximum) per district — 7000 minimum. Let’s split the difference at 10,500 jobs. Pretty big number, eh?

10,500 jobs per district x 435 districts equals 4,567,500. Whoa, that’s a lot of jobs. But wait, we’re not done.

It’s 2013 now. They say we’ll see these results by 2023. That’s 10 years. So 4,567,500 divided by 10 years equals 456,750 jobs created nationwide per year.

Now the jobs numbers are released every month so: 456,750 jobs divided by 12 months equals 38,062.5 jobs added nationwide per month. The .5 must be a midget — oops, little person — oops, vertically challenged. Sorry. Couldn’t resist.

So even assuming the numbers are accurate, it no longer looks so impressive, does it?

Quick recap: They want us to agree to legalize a minimum of 11 million illegals immediately to gain 38,000 phantom jobs a month. It’s the most absurd argument I’ve heard yet.

Are the experts who are compiling this magical data the same geniuses that can’t even accurately predict the employment numbers next month, much less a year or 10 years out?

One would have to be a complete moron to buy any of this crap! The pro-amnesty crowd is desperate, plain and simple. They know an overwhelming majority of voters are against it. They are trying to pull out any lie they have to try to sell this smelly pile of manure.

This is one fight we are winning and can win if we just keep up the pressure.