A Brief Summary Of The Inauguration Sideshow

“O-BA-MA! O-BA-MA! O-BA-MA!”

Thus chanted President Barack Obama’s eager loyal subjects at his second inauguration. They wanted their personal lord and savior, whom they traveled from all corners of America to catch a fleeting glimpse of in real life, unfiltered by the glass of a television set, but first they had to endure the presentment of a few minor players in this sideshow known as the American government.

The man at the loudspeaker announces First Lady Michelle Obama, who lumbers out of the Capitol building, shoulders hunched in that manner of hers that we’ve been told by the media is beyond glamorous, swinging her meat clubs she calls arms down by her knees, and coiffed with her new, “bold” bangs (complete with new, bold eyelashes she purchased somewhere).

The man at the loudspeaker then announces Vice President Joe Biden, who emerges from the Capitol building with a balloon tied to his left wrist and a string tied to his right one, the other end of which is held by the babysitter leading him. Biden suddenly stops in his tracks, piddles himself a little bit, and with an expression of panic asks his nanny, “Hey, where have you taken me? Where am I?”

Then Sen. Chuck Schumer arrives at the podium to begin emceeing the event. He starts by giving a speech of his own, which lasts around five minutes, five minutes too long for the crowd, which thinks in unison, “Shut up, whitey! Where’s our Obama-phone already?”

Schumer finishes his droning and invites onto the stage Myrlie Evers-Williams, the widow of civil-rights leader Medgar Evers, to deliver the inaugural invocation prayer.

Evers-Williams refers in her prayer to Barack Obama as the 45th president, which could be viewed as either a gaffe or a prophecy of what we’re to expect in 2016. It takes a whole five minutes from the start of the prayer for her to mention God. At one point she intones, “May the inherent dignity and inalienable rights of every woman, man, boy and girl be honored. May all your people, especially the least of these, flourish in our blessed nation.” Seems like a nice sentiment until it is realized that “to flourish” is defined in the Democratic dictionary as “to be aborted.”

Evers-Williams finishes her invocation with a phrase that marks the first and final time she mentions the name of Jesus: “In Jesus’ name and the name of all who are holy and right we pray. Amen.” (Emphasis of “all” is hers.) So she led the nation in a blasphemous prayer in the name of not only Jesus, but of all other people from history who were holy in the Democrats’ minds. But that’s not the end of the creepiness.

The Brooklyn Tabernacle Choir then sings the “Battle Hymn of the Republic,” which I understand is appropriate for the occasion of an inauguration, but there is something unnerving in people singing the phrase “Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord” as they affix their gazes upon Obama.

And then the President is sworn in and gives an uncharacteristically short speech at a length of fifteen to twenty minutes, the majority of which is focused on race, because what else, really, has he to talk about? He identifies as African-American–as African before he is American–so it makes sense that he’d focus his speech on all things black. Though he also makes stern proclamations regarding gay marriage, immigration, climate change, and changing the voting process, all of which I have no doubt will be addressed via executive orders in the years to come.

“O-BA-MA! O-BA-MA! O-BA-MA!”

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