Australia’s Criminals As Dumb As US’s

We all love to hear about dumb criminals and the things they do.  Two of my all-time favorites were the guy who wrote his bank hold up note on the back of his appointment card for his parole officer and the guy that tried to use his pickup truck to rip an ATM machine out of a wall, only to leave his rear bumper and license plate behind.  Oh, yeah, there was also the guy that went in to rob a bar that was filled with off duty cops.

This morning on the news, I heard a report of a man in Florida who was burglarizing a home.  The owner of the home just happened to be flying his small airplane over the house and spotted the man.  The burglar just stood there and watched as the Cessna circled the house.  Then he hitched onto a flatbed trailer at the home and drove away.  The home owner followed the burglar for a short time and then returned to the airport so he could call police, give them a description and what direction he was headed.  Forty minutes later the thief was apprehended.

However, a pair of thieves in Beaudesert, Queensland, Australia has the dumb Florida thief beat hands down for not being the brightest light bulbs on the block.

Peter Welsh, 32 and Dwayne Doolan, 31, have to be this weeks’ dumbest criminals in the world.  According to the reports from Down Under, the pair were attempting to break into a jewelry store in a strip mall in Beaudesert.  They first threw spark plugs at the window, trying to shatter the glass, but the glass remained intact.

Australians are known for their tenacity of never giving up, so the pair of geniuses went around to the back of the strip mall and tried to break into the jewelry store via a rear door.  Succeeding to get the door open, they found themselves inside the Animal Welfare League Opportunity Shop next door.  Wanting to make their efforts worthwhile, the grabbed a charity box from a counter which contained the tremendous sum of $50, and then left the shop.

Still not wanting to be known for giving up, the pair decided to break into the jewelry store via a general use toilet block (bathrooms) at the rear of the stores.  Once inside the toilet block, they chopped their way through the wall, expecting to finally reach the gold and diamonds that were awaiting them.  However, once they crawled through the hole in the wall, they discovered that they were now in the KFC on the other side of the jewelry store.

Embarrassed and frustrated, but still insisting on making all of their efforts pay off, the brainy burglars demanded that one of the clerks inside open the safe, which she did.  Welsh and Doolan grabbed $2,600 before making their daring escape back through the hole in the wall.

It wasn’t long before police had the two men in custody upon which time Welsh made a full confession to the police.  Since he appeared to be the mastermind behind the brilliant and well thought out plan, he was charged with armed robbery, stealing, burglary and attempted burglary and a magistrate refused to release him on bail.  Doolan, who must have been poor soul who followed the wrong leader, was only charged with stealing and robbery and was given bail, but I don’t know if it was posted and he was released or if he is still with his awesome leader in the local jail.

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