Barack Obama to Be the Next American Idol Judge

If you’re like me, you don’t keep up much with feuding celebrities. My main source of celebrity news is the grocery store checkout lane. There was apparently some fight going on between Mariah Carey and Nicki Minaj. I know who Maria Carey is. She’s the one that has the “8-octave” vocal range, and she can make her voice sound like a whistle. As for Minaj, I have no idea who she is. But I’m glad our president does. He seems to be acting as sort of an arbiter for them. Thank goodness he’s keeping up with celebrity news, because someone needs to be solving those problems.

The Middle East can continue to burn, drones can continue to ravage the northwestern provinces of Pakistan killing innocent men, women and children, and the Islamic militants in the Free Syrian Army can continue to be funded, manned and armed by the U.S. and Syria’s neighboring countries, forcing millions of Syrian Christians to become refugees to escape the conflict. But those things are just “bumps in the road” compared to what Carey and Minaj are experiencing.

It’s good that our president is finally able to put his background as a community organizer to good use. All that hard work is starting to pay off. Maybe he’s more of a “celebrity relationship organizer” now. He can help pop stars settle their differences. He told the hit radio station Y100 in Miami that he’s confident Minaj and Carey will “sort things out.” He indicated that he preferred Minaj because she’s done some of his campaign music for him, and he’s got her songs on his iPod.

I really wish these presidential debate moderators would incorporate more celebrity news into their questions instead of focusing so much on silly international and domestic “bumps in the road.” Wouldn’t it be great if the moderator asked questions like, “Mr. President, recently Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart were seen in public together after their big breakup due to Stewart’s infidelity. Do you think they’re getting back together again, and if so, how can Stewart earn Pattinson’s trust?” or “Governor Romney, do you think Kanye West’s reaction to the photographer’s question about Kim Kardashian’s ex-boyfriend’s new girlfriend’s baby-on-the-way was a little over the top? As president, how would you have handled it?”

Obama would win those debates hands down.

But no. We’re forced to listen to the President attempt to address things such as how the $16 trillion nation debt is bankrupting the next generation; how Obamacare will bankrupt small companies and drive doctors out of business; how redistribution of wealth only feeds Americans’ envy and steals from the wealthy to give to the poor; whether or not employers should be forced to provide insurance that covers sterilization, contraception and abortion; and why higher taxes only dissuade people from succeeding.

We all know the President isn’t qualified to answer those kinds of questions. It’s not fair that he should be subjected to such scrutiny. It’s not fair that so much should be expected of him when he has so little to offer. Obama has a knack for relating to celebrities. After all, he is a celebrity himself. Maybe after the election, he could apply to be the next American Idol judge. That would be right up his alley.