Boy Suspended For Having Tiny Gun Key Chain

At an arcade, 12-year-old Joseph Lyssikatos won a small gun key chain not much bigger than a quarter, and he put it in his backpack.

At his Rhode Island school, the toy apparently fell out of his bag, and another student picked it up and showed it to others. A teacher got wind of the incident and confiscated the toy weapon.

School officials were able to run the serial number on the gun and trace the gun back to Joseph, who ended up getting suspended for three days. (OK, the part about the serial number and tracing the gun was a joke.)

Of course, the school has a “no tolerance” policy toward guns, weapons, replicas of guns, toy guns, drawings of guns, sandwiches shaped like guns, pop tarts shaped like guns, and possible thoughts of guns. They claim they want to foster “independent” thought in their students, but at the same time they brainwash them, instilling fear in their hearts at the sight of guns and things that can arguably be said to look like guns.

They’re even lobbying to ban states like Oklahoma, Idaho and Florida because of their shapes. That’s why they stopped teaching American geography. (OK, that was a joke too.)

I can’t understand why anyone would want their kid going to this kind of place everyday. These empty heads who call themselves “behavior therapists” and “principals” and “teachers” are running the place. What better argument is there to support dismantling government schools and getting rid of the Department of Education? They’re a parody of themselves, sending kids home with toys or “badly” shaped food items in an effort to stem gun violence. What an absolute joke.

Ironically, the motto of this particular middle school in Coventry, Rhode Island that suspended the student for the key chain is “Helping to better the lives of others is the greatest of all achievements.” If they truly wanted to abide by that statement, they’d shut down the school.