This Obamacare thing must be like a birfday for The Obamaphone Lady and others like her who want the government to be their suga’ daddy. Or maybe I should compare it to a slow, tortuous Christmas morning during which you can’t get the presents open because they have more tape on them than wrapping paper, and so your parents tell you to take a break, that you’ll come back to the presents later, and can you please do your chores first?
In that way, yes, Obamacare is like Christmas, if such an awful Christmas ever took place. Because not only does your Obamacare, when and if you can figure out how to sign up, come with free healthcare that you have to purchase for an expensively free price (a cost of $2,300 per year is free-ish right?), but it comes with a free cell phone with free service!
Not just any old cell phone that typically costs $20 or $30 per month for the most basic function of being a telephone (talking), but a smartphone that allows unlimited talk minutes, unlimited text minutes, and 1.2 gigabytes of data to allow its users to tweet about their day and surf the Internet, all of which seems exorbitant in the face of the expressed purpose of the phones: according to the COO of the Community Health Alliance, Tennessee’s health insurance co-op, “Members will have the phone number for their CHA representative pre-loaded in their phones and can quickly get answers to questions about their policies. At the same time, we will be able to connect with our members by phone, by email or by text almost instantly with health tips and reminders.”
Keep this in mind as you read about Brendan Mahoney, the 30-year-old University of Connecticut law student (read: he’s well off) who, as reported at The Wall Street Journal, has “been insured for the past three years—in 2011 and 2012 through a $2,400-a-year school-sponsored health plan, and this year through ‘a high-deductible, low-premium plan that cost about $39 a month through a UnitedHealthcare subsidiary.’ ”
But he wanted his Obamacare—the 30-year-old child was “entitled” to it, after all–so he called the Obamacare hotline (1-800-F1UCKYO) to get help filling out the application form online, discovering in the process that, wouldn’t you know it, “he was eligible for Medicaid. So, beginning next year, he won’t pay any premium at all.”
Well how ’bout that! Become a leech to the taxpayer even though I can afford not to? Get a free cell phone as an extra bribery gift? Sign me up! Overload the system and create a generation of sucklings? Yes we can!