Diplomacy Failure: North Korea Announces Plans To Nuke U.S.

Upon hearing news of the death of the former North Korean leader, Kim Jong-il, and that his successor would be his blow-fish-like son, Kim Jong-un, who among us did not honestly expect that the corpulent dweeb would be a handful of trouble? He has malice written all over his face–literally, as Vice President Biden would say. Jong-un doesn’t merely look at the people and environment around him, but glares. There is a rumor that I just made up that he was actually born without muscles in his face. There is another rumor (which contradicts the first, but that’s okay; I made up this one as well) that says he was in fact born with muscles in his face, but that he suffers from chronic stomach cramps. Gastroenteritis is evidently part and parcel of being a deity.

Well if you were one of the many Americans who got the creeps when looking at a picture of Jong-un, your gut is now justified with the announcement yesterday by North Korea’s National Defense Commission that they plan to further test their nuclear capabilities by launching their third nuclear rocket into the air, the ultimate objective of which test is to prepare for a strike on the United States.

A statement released by the commission said, “We do not hide that a variety of satellites and long-range rockets which will be launched by the DPRK one after another and a nuclear test of higher level which will be carried out by it in the upcoming all-out action, a new phase of the anti-US struggle that has lasted century after century, will target against the US, the sworn enemy of the Korean people.” A somewhat ambiguous message, if you ask me.

When it comes to individual al-Qaeda terrorists, President Obama has exceeded the expectations of both liberals and conservatives. Liberals thought (with glee) that Obama would be giving taxpayer-funded lawyers to captured terrorists to argue the terrorists’ cases. Conservatives thought (with fear) that Obama wouldn’t pursue terrorists at all. And as both parties have seen, to the liberals’ mild annoyance and conservatives’ slightly stronger annoyance, it turns out that Obama is a killing machine; he drone-strikes the terrorists and doesn’t ask questions at all, blowing them up without first capturing and interrogating them for information that could lead to the capture of more militants.

When it comes to despotic third-world madmen, however, such as Iran’s Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, for instance, Obama has preferred the path of diplomacy: unclench your fist, pretty please, and we’ll extend our hand.

But another part of North Korea’s statement Thursday said, “Settling accounts with the US needs to be done with force, not with words….”

So it would seem that madmen do not respond well to the language of folksy peaceniks. This comes, I’m sure, as a great shock to the Obama administration and to no one living in reality.

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