Government Protecting Us from Threats We Would Never See Without Them

It is just impossible to imagine how we would ever survive without the government protecting us and providing such vital information to keep us safe and happy.

You tax dollars at work, keeping the world safe for… marshmallow roasting.

roast marshmallow

From the Unites States Department of Agriculture Blog: “US Forest Service Asks: How Does Your Marshmallow Roast?

First, let’s talk safety. Never start a campfire when there are fire restrictions in place. The restrictions are put in place for your safety and for the safety of others. If campfires are allowed, use an existing fire ring or pit. Be sure you are at least 15 feet from tent walls, trees or other flammable objects.

Most importantly, ensure you work closely with children and talk to them about fire danger, proper behavior and rules – then expect nothing less. No one knows how many children are burned in campfire incidents; however, you don’t need statistics to know precaution is a key to great camping experiences. Some experts advocate a 10-foot rule between young children and a campfire. For more information about campfire safety, let Smokey Bear guide you.

Now, let’s get to the marshmallow basics. Use a roasting stick of at least 30 inches in length. The degree a marshmallow is roasted runs the gamut, from the barely cooked, light caramel-colored outer layer to the flaming marshmallow that contains a gooey interior wrapped by a crispy, blackened shell. From there, most people graduate to s’mores and rarely move on.

But there are some innovative ways to roast the little white treats that can help cut down on the amount of sugar intake by the kids, thus making bedtime a little more doable.

Think fruit.

[See also, “Without the Federal Government Who Would Exploit the Mentally Disabled in Gun Stings?]

I’m sure the Department of Homeland Security will be doing spot-checks in the neighborhood from now on and, if you’re not following the government approved rules for roasting, no more marshmallows for you!!

Someone please wake me up and tell me this has been one big nightmare.