A recent article on Britain’s rape culture demonstrates the self-destructiveness of whining and refusing to help oneself.
I wouldn’t normally read this Vice story but it was trending on Twitter so I got curious. The headline is straightforward: “Rape Is at an All-Time High in Britain, So Why Are Its Sexual Abuse Charities Fighting for Funding?” There were parts that were decent but the overall message is horrendous. People are inviting rape by adopting the attitude demonstrated in this post.
The picture with the article demonstrates the problem:
First of all, the claim that society fails to tell people not to rape is a lie. Rape is a crime. It is a moral offense and an act of aggression. It is true that liberal politicians often get away with predatory behavior that may send a contrary message, but in general people are taught that rape is wrong.
But not everyone accepts the teaching. I would love to live in a world without evil, but that’s not the world we live in. Deviants reject societal norms. So the second line of defense is personal protection and resistance. If you are a woman, you can help reduce that chance you will be raped by preparing and taking precautions.
For some unimaginable reason, a group of people who typically identify as “Feminists” have decided to take offense at all attempts to protect women by encouraging that second line of defense against rape. Telling women to arm themselves or do anything else to ward off attacks is interpreted as making rape the woman’s fault. “The men should be taught not to rape!” is publicly screeched at us.
If rapists were open to listening to ethical instruction they would not be rapists. These women are basically insisting on being helpless and then whining at all men as if they are responsible for the tiny minority of rapists.
The article itself begins with an obvious instance of such insistent helplessness. Warning to readers: the following excerpt is a bit more crude and explicit than I typically use on this blog.
By the time I was 25, within my close friendship circle, most of us had been raped. I feel quite lightheaded looking at that sentence. Surely it can’t be right? Is there a way of writing it that sounds less harsh? I delete the sentence but type it again. If I’m going to be honest—and I decided I couldn’t write this piece without mentioning my personal stake—then yes, those are the facts.
I’m in my thirties now and, looking back, our acceptance seems shocking. We all took a lot of drugs, often other people’s, and waking up with a dick inside you was almost seen as an occupational risk. No one went to the police; it wasn’t even talked about that much. The only time I remember a situation being dealt with—in a manner—was when a group of lads went over to the house of two men who had attacked me in Amsterdam and kicked the living daylights out of them. But police? Not a chance. When I was raped by my friend’s boyfriend, passed out after a session, I didn’t even tell her.
This kind of reasoning is insane. Obviously the men, assuming they were truly having sex with completely unconscious women, are vile pigs. But this article leaves a wide array of possibilities, from violence to people high on drugs with lowered inhibitions having sex and not remembering much about it when they recover.
If two people get drunk or stoned and have sex, the woman is somehow always the victim and the man always the rapist.
Under a more traditionalist understanding of sexual morality, there is some basis for blaming the man. I have sympathy with the idea. But it makes no sense to complain that rapes go unpunished when there is no evidence of violence or force. You can’t go to the police and expect much if the man can claim you were partying and had sex.
That’s not the fault of society or the justice system or the police. Throwing people into prison on the say-so of a single person with no corroborating evidence is not a solution to any problem.
And it is not “blaming the victim” to suggest that getting stoned out of your mind in group settings is probably not wise. You are selecting people to be vulnerable (even unconscious!) with people who have already resisted ethical behavior in one area. The chances of finding men who aren’t restrained about taking advantage of women who are intoxicated are quite high.
The woman led off her story by claiming it was shocking that she and her friends had all been raped. Then she tells us that she and her friends deliberately 1. kept company with men who weren’t very ethical (pursuing drug highs) and 2. found and used opportunities to be semi- or unconscious with them.
Isn’t this the kind of situation for which the word “duh” was invented?
Such a complaint about rape seems like a demand that society be accountable for one’s own stupidity and sinfulness. Women are equally members of society with men. If they want society to condemn and prevent rape they need to do their part as well.