Illegal Aliens Won’t be Deported if They’re Homosexuals

There was a man whose house and backyard suffered from an extreme bird infestation. He didn’t particularly mind birds all that much, but the sheer quantity of bird manure and feathers, the fighting, the squawking and the occasional avian crash into his kitchen window was enough to drive him insane. He didn’t know what to do about it, and he didn’t want to be cruel and set up bird traps everywhere, so he asked his neighbor who didn’t seem to have the same problem he had. The neighbor told him flatly, “Remove your bird feeders.” The man took his neighbor’s advice and subsequently, the birds migrated elsewhere.

And thus is a picture of our illegal immigration problem in our country. Remove the freebies, and there’s no incentive for people to come here illegally in the first place. But the question posed by pundits is not just what the ideal situation would be, but rather, now that we have this problem, what is the solution?

Phasing out free services for illegal aliens is definitely a step in the right direction that would prompt many to go back to their home country on their own volition. And surely, when a criminal is found to be here illegally, that person should be deported. Representative Ted Poe, a Republican Congressman from Texas, has a bill that does just that. It’s aptly named the Deport Foreign Convicted Criminals Act. Others propose an across-the-board rounding up and deporting of all illegal aliens, which would be no easy task and would no doubt degenerate into an impractical witch hunt of sorts, verifying every person’s immigration status.

But whenever U.S. immigration officials do investigate a person or family that they suspect of being illegal aliens, the criteria for deportation gets a little complicated when the kids have “birthright citizenship,” and the parents have nothing and are here illegally. Immigration officials don’t want to break up families like this and then have to deal with orphans. So the U.S.’s decision to deport is done on a case-by-case basis, contingent upon familial ties with the U.S.

Last week, DHS Secretary Janet Napolitano addressed Speaker Pelosi in a letter informing her of an extension of these deportation criteria:

In an effort to make clear the definition of the phrase “family relationships,” I have directed ICE [Immigration and Customs Enforcement] to disseminate written guidance to the field that the interpretation of the phrase “family relationships” includes long-term same-sex partners. As with every other factor identified… the applicability of the “family relationships” factor is weighed on an individualized basis in the consideration of whether prosecutorial discretion is appropriate in a given case.

So, if someone is here illegally, and that person is found out by ICE, he’ll get scratched off the deportation list if he is in a homosexual relationship with an American citizen on the basis that homosexual relationships are as much family relationships as normal marriages or families. Yes, I said “normal.” The immigration problem is bad enough as it is. This only makes the problem worse, and it creates an incentive for homosexual relationships.