Nanny Bloomberg Denied Second Slice of Pizza

We all would like to see New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg get a taste, or should I say a lack of taste, of his own dietary medicine.

I thought it was a joke when I first came across the story. It is a joke. Even so, it’s a funny story that we all wish had happened and hope one day it does. Hats off to the folks at the Daily Currant for making my day. My wife and I had a good laugh.

The fictional story reports that Bloomberg was denied a second slice of pizza from the owners of Collegno’s Pizzeria in Brooklyn. The owners refused to serve the diet-for-you-but-not-for-me mayor when he ordered a second slice of pizza. (We know Bloomberg consumes more calories than he needs when no one is looking.)

The sauce for the gander action was in protest of Bloomberg’s proposed soda ban that would affect pizzerias and every other restaurant in New York City.

If I ever get to visit Brooklyn, and if there is a Collegno’s Pizzeria, it will be one of the restaurants I’ll visit. I love New York-style pizza. I frequent Johnny’s New York Style Pizza in Marietta, Georgia, where I live. Delizioso!

The mayor was not happy about the denial, the story reports. He should be able to eat what he wants; it’s his body, and he’s paying for it, and he was hungry. He protested that he hadn’t eaten all morning and was famished. He wanted that second slice!

While the owners were respectful of the mayor, they stood their ground. “No second slice for you.”

Here’s how the fictional story was reported by the Daily Currant:

“OK, that’s funny,” Mayor Bloomberg remarked, “because of the soda thing … Now come on. I’m not kidding. I haven’t eaten all morning, just send over another pepperoni.”

“I’m sorry sir. We’re serious,” Benito insisted. “We’ve decided that eating more than one piece isn’t healthy for you, and so we’re forbidding you from doing it.”

“Look jackass,” Bloomberg retorted, his anger boiling, “I f*#king skipped breakfast this morning just so I could eat four slices of your pizza. Don’t be a schmuck, just get back to the kitchen and bring out some f*#king pizza, okay.”

“I’m sorry sir, there’s nothing I can do,” the owner repeated. “Maybe you could go to several restaurants and get one slice at each. At least that way you’re walking. You know, burning calories.”

How would Benito know the mayor hadn’t eaten? He had to take the mayor’s word for it. The same could be said about the soda ban. “Hey, I haven’t had a sugary drink all day.”

While the story is fictional, it’s still funny and spot-on in explaining how politicians work. They create laws for others (ObamaCare) while excluding themselves.

“Tyranny for thee but not for me. I’ll retire on a big fat government pension that you taxpayers will fund.”