Nine-Year-Old Liberal Fascist Takes On McDonald’s

Hannah Robertson is the adorable 9-year-old offspring of a probably liberal upbringing who is well on her way to becoming a good little fascist in her adult years.

Hannah wrote a prepared statement–and when I say “Hanna wrote,” I mean “Hannah and not at all her health-food-blogging mother, wink-wink”–to read from as she stood up in front of all the evil big-wigs at a McDonald’s shareholders meeting, including CEO Don Thompson, to give them a piece of “her,” and not at all her mothers’, mind:

“Something that I don’t think is fair is when big companies try to trick kids into eating food that isn’t good for them by using toys and cartoon characters. Mr. Thompson, don’t you want kids to be healthy so they can live a long and happy life?”

Now, first of all, why does Hannah refer to “big” companies? What difference does it make how big something is? If a company is doing something you find corrupt, fine, but all that is achieved by attaching “big” to the subject is to associate bigness with badness, and that’s bad for the big companies who aren’t bad.

Second, in what way is McDonald’s or any other fast-food joint tricking kids? Are kids seeing these TV advertisements and saying, “Man, I’m really craving some McDonald’s, and I gotta have that Happy Meal toy,” and then grabbing their keys and their booster seats, tying blocks of wood to their feet so they can reach the acceleration pedal of their Dodge Caravans, and then driving off to McDonald’s? “I’ll be right back, mommy, I need the new Disney Princess toy at McDonald’s.” Parents are solely to blame for buying things for their kids that are bad for them.

Liberals want everybody to live like them. There is no semblance of free “choice” in their policies. They don’t like McDonald’s, so they want McDonald’s to change their recipes against the choice of everybody who currently does like McDonald’s. You know that whole “my body, my choice” thing? McDonald’s business, McDonald’s choice. If you’re too stupid not to know fast food is junk food, your clogged arteries were well-earned. If you’re too irresponsible and liberal a parent not to say no to your kid—in other words, to parent—then your kid’s corpulence is your fault and your fault alone.

Click here to read what contributor Mark Horne has to say at our affiliate site, Godfather Politics.