PETA: Turkeys Are Mistreated Minorities

It’s so easy to harp on PETA for their idiocy. But we can’t deny that they provide ample amounts of comic relief. What makes them funnier is that they don’t even intend to be funny.

They’re at it again, and this time the culprit is President Obama. The occasion is Thanksgiving and specifically the tradition of the president’s “pardoning” of a Thanksgiving turkey. Wednesday at 1pm was the scheduled time for Obama to pardon the turkey, which traditionally is raised as any other turkey but chosen as a chick to be the “pardon turkey.” By pardoning the turkey, Obama will be sparing the bird’s life. So, what is PETA’s beef?

They wrote a letter to the President urging him not to participate in this outdated and humiliating ritual. Humiliating to the turkey that is. They compared these “gentle, intelligent” birds to blacks, “gays,” women and other mistreated groups who PETA say are ridiculed and mocked. The letter stated:

 “You understand so well that African-Americans, women, and members of the LGBT community have been poorly served throughout history, and now I am asking you to consider other living beings who are ridiculed, belittled, and treated as if their sentience, feelings, and very natures count for nothing.”

The letter went on to explain that birds can’t even be pardoned in the first place. They said that the only thing these turkeys were guilty of was “being born into a world of prejudice.”

They urged the White House to serve delicious “tofurky” instead of murdering the innocent but tasty bird. I don’t think the White House has heeded PETA’s call, because by the time you read this, the pardoning would have already been done, and another innocent turkey would have received the death penalty.

The last notable time PETA got onto Obama was not long after he was inaugurated into his first term. During an interview with CNBC, a fly was buzzing around his face, and when it landed on his left hand, Obama slapped the fly, causing its demise. The camera then zoomed in on the late, two-winged insect.

PETA didn’t get onto him nearly as harshly as they did about the turkey. They barely let him get away with it that time and sent him a PETA-branded bug catcher that allows you to catch the insect and let it go free outside.

Of all the countless things that one could get onto Obama about, PETA is there to offer their comedic distractions to keep everyone’s attention diverted away from all the executive orders he’s signed and the economic, foreign, and domestic disasters that his policies have caused.