Rob Portman Obeys Feelings Over Objective Thought, Now Backs Gay Marriage

Rob Portman, Senator from Ohio once considered the likely choice to be Mitt Romney’s vice presidential running mate, has now come out in favor of gay marriage.


Because two years ago, his Rob Portman’s college-aged son came out as gay.

Senator Rob Portman said it was at that point that he began to see the issue “from a new perspective, and that’s of a dad who loves his son a lot and wants him to have the same opportunities that his brother and sister would have — to have a relationship like Jane and I have had for over 26 years.”

This switch in stance is, as you can see, the result of thinking non-objectively. Senator Rob Portman has allowed his emotions to dictate his thought process, not dissimilar from the method employed by liberals to make their decisions.

I would not mind as much (as much) if Senator Portman had come to the decision based on analytical thinking. But instead, he let his heart tell his brain what to do.

Imagine if we made all our decisions like that. What are some of the things that could happen?

1. We might end up electing to the presidency a radical leftist with a shifty background and seedy connections, ignoring all of that because he’s black, and electing a black man makes certain of us feel good and romantic.

2. We might end up being forced as a nation to provide condoms and abortifacients to women, at no cost to them, because the reality that sex is a naturally risky activity should not be the reality. Plus, sex is fun, so why wouldn’t we steal from future generations to pay for it for the hussies of today?

3. We might end up crafting legislation that allows all illegal-immigrant “children” to stay here and continue to receive “free” college tuition and “free” health care because it makes us feel charitable when we give other people’s money away. To further stir up emotion, we might even refer to the affected illegal immigrants as DREAMers. “Hey, they’re just innocent children, man; they have a dream, man, and you want to squash that dream? Huh? We can’t afford it? Man, they can print more money, man. And can you stop talking about it? You’re harshing my buzz.”

4. We, adopting a name with the imperialistic word “occupy” in it, might end up shouting vulgarities in the street and engaging in public sexual intercourse and public defecation, because the government hasn’t yet given us a $20 minimum wage or a job to go with our Herpes in Ancient Mesopotamia master’s degrees.

5. We might even end up changing our stances on issues, forfeiting all rational thought, for the entirely irrelevant fact that we know somebody who has an emotional connection to it. See Sen. Rob Portman as an example.