In L.A., Even the Buses Are Racist

I actually like taking the bus in Los Angeles whenever it’s not too hot. It’s cheaper, it’s more relaxing, it gives me time to read, plus you get a little incidental exercise walking to and from the bus stop. Little did I realize I was supporting a racist system. At least, that seems to be the implication being made in a recent L.A. Weekly issue, which featured an article titled “Why Don’t White People in L.A. Take the Bus?” (The L.A. Weekly is one of those strange niche publications whose Read more […]

‘Ooh La’ Is French for ‘Oy Gevalt, Obama!’

The more President Obama goes out in public in foreign lands, the more he reminds me of a cartoon caricature. I haven’t quite pinned down which one, yet. I’m thinking some sort of cross between Mr. Magoo and Prince John the thumb-sucking lion from Disney’s animated “Robin Hood.” I’ll keep working on it. … Point is, the guy just gets more ridiculous the more he tries to assert how “cool” and in charge he is. His latest outing is a case in point. I’m assuming you’ve all seen the workout Read more […]

Thin-Skinned Dems v. Republicans Who Can Laugh At Themselves

How are Democrats like devout Muslims? Answer: They can’t “take a joke” without wanting to “take you out.” From the Weekly Standard: “SNL Producer: ‘Republicans Are Easier for Us than Democrats’ – ‘Democrats tend to take it personally; Republicans think it’s funny.’” In an interview with Vulture.com, Saturday Night Live executive producer Lorne Michaels concedes that mocking Republicans is easier than going after Democrats. “Republicans are easier for us than Democrats,” says Michaels. Read more […]

TSA: Joke About Our Security Measures & We’ll Arrest You

It’s got to be tough working for one of the most despised and worthless agencies in the U.S. government. It must be hard putting up with all the jokes, the comments, the bad press. If only everyone understood that the TSA is there to make sure everyone is safe and secure. They’re just trying to make sure that passengers aren’t hiding anything on them or in them that could pose a threat to the rest of the passengers. Their job is about ensuring national security. And since their job is so Read more […]

Assignment: Troll Obamacare’s Live Chat Assistants

With the Obamacare exchanges due to be open for business in three days, the Obama administration decided to open up a help line that people can access on the Internet if they have questions about the law. You can click “Start Live Chat” to be connected to a live technician. Many people took the opportunity to troll those technicians. I was one of those people. I took screenshots of the exchange to document for the Great American Troll Off contest, but below is the transcript of the conversation Read more […]

Mrs. O’s Rap: Beat Your Hoes, Eat Your Veggies

The majority of rap music, to the extent that muttering unintelligible profanities to a computer-generated drum pattern can be considered music, is written and recorded by low-IQ individuals for the listening pleasure of other low-IQ individuals, usually criminals in the former case and delinquents in the later. Michelle Obama, the Mother of America with an evident prejudice against fatties, is venturing into the world of rap, no doubt figuring that such an uneducated listener base will be most Read more […]

Brainstorming In The Oval Office

President Obama (laughing): …so I said to the guy, “Hey, don’t blame me. Why don’t you ask George Bush what that smell is!” Vice President Biden (boisterous): Good one, sir, that makes my sides literally split!  Obama: I’m a pretty funny guy, Joe. Biden: And y’know, for a black guy, you certainly are bright and articulate!  Obama: I know. I wrote two books about myself to prove it. Biden: Clean, too!  Obama: Thanks, Joe. It’s a helluva body scrub I use. [Two nameless officials Read more […]