Transgender Tampon Offers Eunuchs the Beautiful, Womanly Experience of Painless Periods

The transgender tampon fakes bleeding but gender is just a social construct. Women, think about your “sisters” next time you feel your monthly cramps!

The CEO of a small company that has specialized in “earth friendly” feminine hygiene says that the company now also hopes “to bring each trans-woman closer to the full female experience and diminish body dysmorphia triggers altogether.”

But I’m pretty sure this has to be a satire story. For one thing the market for “post-op transgender women” is still way too tiny to produce this kind of response. But as satire, I think it is well-aimed. Why wouldn’t this form of live-action role-playing be desirable to surgical male eunuchs like Bruce Jenner—or Caitlyn Jenner as he is now called?

The product comes in 3 designs. “Fem-Flo Petite” is for the trans-woman who is still working to achieve maximum dilation, yet still wants to produce menses. “Fem-Flo Intermediate” provides dilation and an average amount of menstruation. And last, but not least, the “Fem-Flo Lush” for the trans-woman who wishes to enjoy “heavy” menstruation.

“Our product is designed to give post-op trans-gender women the full-spectrum experience of menstruation. You don’t have to be deprived of the beautiful and womanly occurrence of menstruation merely because you were born without uterus. The Fem-Flo’s cotton core contains a small, vegetable-based capsule which upon reaching body temperature releases the “menses” contained within. It also aids in keeping the post-op canal conditioned and dilated after surgery and beyond.”

I have to admit, I only decided it was a hoax after searching for the company names and not being able to find them. What is really more unrealistic (or more insulting to women) than the Caitlyn Jenner Vanity Fair magazine cover?

I know a couple of women who, when they thought the news story might be real, were outraged. After all, women suffer real pain when they go through painful cramps and other tortures while bleeding. It is not fun. But it is what it means to be a woman. To have a bunch of eunuchs play-acting with fake blood, and claiming this is because they are really women, is degrading to real women.

Next time you are a man with a woman who is suffering through that time of the month, try telling her that her identity as a woman is just a social construct. If it was just a social construct, parents encouraging their children to be transgender wouldn’t be giving them powerful drugs to stunt their growth and delay puberty to keep their bodies from changing.