U.S. Citizens Detained for Smuggling…Chocolate Eggs

Justice prevails: two Seattle men were detained for a few hours by U.S. Customs when they tried to smuggle …chocolate… into the United States. That’s right. These menaces to society were trying to bring [gasp] Kinder Eggs into our fair country. Everyone knows those particular treats have little choking hazards inside them: choking hazards disguised as toys! How diabolical. And the worst part is, these confectionary terrorists were going to give these chocolates to… their… kids.

It’s a good thing  Nanny Guvment is there to save us from ourselves. Otherwise, who knows what terrible things we would do. We might smoke something other than weed in the San Francisco great outdoors. (It’s okay. It’s for my chronic hiccups.) Or try to purchase more than sixteen ounces of soda in New York.

It’s amazing the extremes the civil government goes to protect us. I feel like I’m reading The Onion anytime I see an article on the TSA (TSA agents make fun of deaf man, eat his bag of candy in front of him while he cries… yes, befuddled brain, you did just read that). I wonder how far it will go. I just got another speeding ticket recently. I was driving the speed of traffic safely, of course. I am without a doubt positive that the most dangerous things  about the whole scenario were the cop speeding recklessly to catch up with me, my rapid deceleration onto the shoulder, and my white-knuckle re-entrance into speeding traffic. The rather polite officer told me he was just doing his job… that there had been a lot of wrecks on that stretch. I wonder why.

But the real story here is not that government officials are too involved in our personal lives and choices (which they are), that their remedies are usually worse than the disease (which they are), or that we don’t seem to know what’s good for us (which we never have). The real story is the fact that we as Americans just don’t want to take responsibility for our actions, so the entity that has taken over in that capacity, the civil government, feels it has the right to take away our right to choose. You know: “Fun, fun, fun ’til her daddy takes the T-bird away” kind of stuff. They gave us the car, now they want to tell us how to drive it. (Well they didn’t give you the car… but they did take yours and give it to an Obama supporter in Roanoke.) We’re being treated more and more like nursery babies because we have allowed, and even asked, the civil government to take the responsibility for the bad things that happen to us (or that we bring on ourselves).

It’s difficult to live free. It’s not secure. In a free society, if you screw up, you have to pay for it. If you do stupid things and hurt yourself and others, you have to bear the brunt of your folly. Most people in our country say they want to be free. But they really don’t. They might shed a few tears when they have to get their diaper changed and the cold air hits their little bum-bums, but they like their security blanket. Our country is no longer well-peopled with the kind of noble souls who agree mutually to pledge life, property, and sacred honor to the cause of liberty. And until we have those kind of citizens in large supply again, Big Mother’s gonna make sure to put rubber bumpers on the sharp corners of our ornamental rights.