Who’s to Blame for ISIS? Boring Old People, Obama Reveals

We already know that religion, specifically the Islamic variety, has nothing to do with terrorism, according to our president.

The White House this week floated the notion that Muslim countries just needed jobs to turn jihadists’ attention from terrorism and toward more gainful pursuits.

But it was at the sideshow the White House called a summit on violent extremism that President Obama revealed the real secret to creating a terrorist: boring old people.

“The high-quality (ISIS) videos,” Obama said, “the online magazines, the use of social media, the terrorists’ Twitter accounts – it’s all designed to target today’s young people online, in cyberspace.

“And, by the way, the older people here, as wise and as respected as you may be: Your stuff is often boring. Compared to what they’re doing. You’re not connected. And, as a consequence, you are not connecting.”

Um. … Speaking of ‘not connected,’ Mr. President. …

It’s an interesting theory, as pseudo-scientific observations go. Or it would be, except for the minor detail that every country in every part of the world in every age of history has had boring old people, and relatively few youngsters outside of countries that are Islamic, run by Central American drug cartels or openly at war turn to a lifestyle of rape, torture, beheadings and territorial conquest such as we see daily with ISIS.

Now, if you want to compare the people in ISIS to, say, the people who tore up Ferguson, Missouri, for several months, you might find some similarities, as bored Ferguson youths were lured by the seductive ways of trucked-in, George-Soros-purchased community organizers.

On the other hand, if you look at some cultures like that of India, where the old people are as boring as can be (with a tendency to talk at length about Tantric control of their bowels and such), and bored youths are simultaneously lured by the glitz and slick PR campaigns of Bollywood, the result is very different, as demonstrated by this video:

harajuku-girlsThe situation is similar in Japan, with a lot of old folk talking about their samurai days and the youngsters being assaulted by anime-inspired brainwashing. The results are … well, let’s just face it, they’re adorable, like little Pokemon.

Obama had another aspect to his theory, a little supplement to help obscure the fact that he, more than any human on the planet, is responsible for laying the groundwork that led to ISIS.

He blamed the victims. Associated Press and other outlets said he was talking about the need for community involvement, “It Takes a Village” and all that sort of nonsense, but read his quote carefully:

“So, these terrorists are a threat, first and foremost, to the communities that they target,” Obama said, “which means that communities have to take the lead in protecting themselves. And that is true here in America, as it is true anywhere else.”

So lower that hemline and cover your cleavage, America. And while you’re at it, put on that hijab, because if ISIS or some other terror group du jour bombs you, it’s nobody’s fault but your own.